Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize