all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
