You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
