so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
