Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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