I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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