YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just had sex on a roof
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
