Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
