I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
