I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
