he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
