Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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