Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
