So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
