the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
