the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
