I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
