I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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