Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
