I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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