i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize