Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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