it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
