from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And then he peed in my hair
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