I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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