i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
