im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
