tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
