when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
