There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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