it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
