i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
