I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
