wanna go halves on a baby?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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