Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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