I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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