Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize