I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
