Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
