you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
