Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
