New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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