Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize