I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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