Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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