I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
