I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
