i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I should be sponsored by Trojan
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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