Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
