i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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