I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so explain again why im purple
no
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
