SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My bed smells like the plague
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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