Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
