me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
