Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize