i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
