I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
