Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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