she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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