Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
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Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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