you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's get the cat blown out
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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