Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
love makes seman taste better
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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