Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
