his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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