If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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