non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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